2012… What A Crock!!

Yeah I said it, the 2012 conspiracy theory is a crock, it has no real solid basis and is marketed by those individuals who cannot find a real cause to support. This is another myth that ranks up there with the Y2K scare, Hale-Bopp & even the Easter Bunny. So many people are getting worked up over a year and date that doesn’t mean anything to anyone, especially some space aliens or the aspect of armageddon. I will look at and pick apart some of the more notarized theories associated with the 2012 theories of conspiracy.

On December 21st or 23rd of 2012 the world will end: This one is one of the most farfetched that I have heard and is easily explained away. First off, let’s use Christmas or New Years as a reference point since they are both recognized internationally and are easier to explain the point I am about to make. Now let’s look at this logically, my friend lives in Australia and every year I get a drunken phone call from him wishing me a happy new year at 11:00AM the day of, why you may ask, well because Australia is 13 hours ahead of the East coast of the US and in particular the east coast of the US is 4 hours ahead of the west coast. Why do I make this point, well its simple, basing the fact that the world would end on December 21st or 23rd, what time zone will it take place in? It can’t take place in all of them because that would mean the world would come to an end in a domino effect sort of way. And if the world is going to end I think it would do it all in one shot. As well the date and time is open for interpretation based upon who you are talking or listening too, if this was a solid date calculated by the Mayans, why the discrepancy?

Mayan-Calendar
Mayan Calendar kinda looks like a “Stargate” `~ Cedric

This is said to happen based upon a Mayan Long Count calendar: Really? Is this who we are going to listen to as the fate of our world? If this is the case then someone has been watching Alien vs Predator way too much. I will admit that the Mayan’s were very intelligent people and were advanced for their time and geographical location, but where are they now? Their culture is all but gone and the Mayan people are all but faded out of existence. Yes the Spanish came in and wiped them out with disease, but the fact of the matter is, if they were that advanced they would have been on the same playing level as the Spaniards, they would have created gun powder and weapons for protection rather than worshiping a number of different Gods that didn’t exist.  They would sacrifice and wear jackets of human flesh in order to appease the god of the land so that they would have fertile crops. Really? This is who we are taking global advice from? Heck if that’s the case then maybe we should take more stock into listening to such people as Ed Gein or Jeffery Dahmer, because they were pretty much doing the same thing. One other point I would like to point out about the Mayan calendar is that the Mayan people who are around today don’t even put much stock into it and it was their ancestors who created it. Now if their own people aren’t’t worrying about the 2012 thing then why in the world are we?

Galactic Alignment: It is the fact that the planets of the galaxy will all be in perfect alignment thus causing an end to the existence that we know of or will usher in the world of the New Age. Now the planets have aligned in the past and oh wow look we are still here, it is a very cool thing that the planets come into alignment and is an interesting fact, but nothing I would base my life on and around. As for the coming of the new age, go to Borders or Barnes and Nobles because they have whole sections on new age so I hate to burst your bubble, but the new age movement has been around for years and is apart of the culture of the world already, just look at Nostradamus and his fortune telling, you don’t get anymore new age than that.

Planet Nibiru: This is the theory that a giant planet called Nibiro or Planet X (very Godzilla like I might add) will collide into the earth and destroy it. I don’t know why I am going to waste my time on this one, but this is one of the most ridiculous ones I have heard yet. Now according to astrologers there will be an object called 433 Eros to pass by the Earth narrowly missing us at nearly 17 million miles, yes I said 17 million miles. Oh and by the way Eros is only about 20 miles in diameter at its widest part, wow we better watch out for that one, note sarcasm. Now if both professional and amateur astrologers are able to see this two mile rock that will pass us by 17 million miles don’t you think someone would have spotted a freaking planet hurtling towards the planet earth?

Web Bot: Ok now I know I said the Planet X thing was ridiculous, but I may have to give it to the Web Bot theory for overall stupidity. Now the web bot’s purpose is to scour the internet looking for key words with emotion and to somehow create stock trends and predictions on both natural and manmade disasters.  So let’s get this straight, two mega nerds created a program to randomly search words on the internet that puts them into a calculation that the “inventors” don’t share with anyone only to sell their results via their website. In my mind they have to be some of the best con men or certifiable geek wackos. They claim they predicted 9-11 as well as the Dick Cheney hunting accident,  if you boil it all down and look it at it with a clear mind then you will see that this is nothing more than a giant electronic magic 8 ball. “Answer unclear, try again later.”

Well I think I will end this column/editorial on this note, if you take any stock in these things other than an interest to see how people think then you need to crawl under a rock and not come out till you can get along with society. There will always be end of the world theories and no one will ever know when that will take place. You need to live your life to the fullest and help make it a better place for yourself and others. If you worry about what might be then your best bet is to get a job as a telemarketer and never leave your house. As always if you have an opinion with what I said then you are more than welcome to e-mail your rebuttal to me and I will gladly tell you that you’re wrong.

Be safe and don’t be stupid,

Jon Bolton

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